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Tristan Thompson 19 Points Full Highlights (5/28/2021)
When I said in my last Celtics video description "Just remove Thompson from the lineup entirely", that was me being sarcastic and making a totally nonsensical ...
Seth Curry 22 Points Full Highlights (8/21/2020)
I have been informed by those knowledgeable about the situation that, even though this is a Seth Curry video and not a Stephen Curry video, there is no reason ...
LeBron James All 75 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
There was a mysterious beeping coming from behind him and to his right. But it didn't sound like his alarm clock. This beeping was much less melodious than the beeping that he woke up to every morning. LeBron opened his eyes to look. But when he saw his surroundings, all thoughts of his alarm dropped from his mind. He was in a small room that was unlike anything he had seen in his life. The sinuous walls were made out of some smooth ice-blue material. There were no hard edges or corners to be found. The "bed" he was on was more like a slab extending organically from the floor. It was covered in a spongy weave of short white stalks. There was no source of light, other than the walls and floor, which provided a strong glow that was like blue daylight. The window behind him only looked out on blank space dotted with stars. A crevice appeared in the wall in front of him, and then a section of the material seemed to slide away. A being that was very clearly an alien entered the room. "Welcome. My name is Zorpxog. We are glad you are awake," said the thing, which was only four feet tall and had eight multi-purpose limbs arrayed around a central sphere, covered with one-inch long skin tubes, that was a head and torso combined. What LeBron interpreted to be its mouth was a deep indentation out of which dripped purple mucus. As it talked, its hue changed from bright blue to a subdued green. "So aliens speak English too, huh?" LeBron quipped. He had already come to the conclusion that this was a dream, so there was no reason to be too concerned about the fact that he had been abducted by aliens and held captive on their UFO. "You have many languages on your planet. Thousands of them! Our team of highly-trained neuroanalysts needed several of your...what do you call them...'sun revolutions', to analyze your synaptic connections and determine which language was yours. Of course, when we found out about "English", it was easy to intercept your planetary communications and teach it to ourselves." LeBron wondered when he would wake up. "Oh. Cool." "You are taking this rather well, LeBron," said Zorpxog. "Your friends were much more violent when they awoke. Carmelo in particular managed to injure my colleague Zixthglub rather seriously." LeBron envisioned ripping the limbs off one of these little aliens and having purple ooze spray out of them. "Carmelo?" The alien had turned and walked out the door, using three of its limbs for propulsion. LeBron followed. "He was part of your 'Banana Boat Crew', correct? We are very interested in your Banana Boat. It represents a level of technology that we have not yet reached, and it surprises us that the intellectually inferior human race had mastered its secrets." They had entered a larger room full of odd whirring devices. Some sort of laboratory, LeBron decided. A pile of bananas, both peeled and unpeeled, caught his eye. "Our neuroanalysts inform us that your brain operates at a higher level than that of your banana-mates," Zorpxog said. They passed through another spontaneously-appearing doorway to a room where Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, and Dwyane Wade had been made to sit on a large, metallic banana replica. They appeared to be unconscious. More aliens were probing them with bananas and communicating via an unintelligible language composed seemingly of sighs and other exhalations. "Perhaps you can aid us in a way these lesser humans cannot." LeBron wondered why he wasn't awake yet. "Uh, the banana boat only works in water." "We understand that. But there is no water in space. Bananas are not native to aqueous environments; our testing indicates that they quickly lose their integrity when submerged. Surely there is away to harness the power of the banana for faster-than-light space travel." It occurred to LeBron that he might not be dreaming after all. If that was the case, he needed to trick this advanced, but surprisingly stupid, race of beings that he had bestowed upon them the secrets of the banana. "Can we make a quick stop at Earth? I need to buy a few things." -- The UFO was parked in the remote New Mexico desert, far away from any probing eyes. LeBron oversaw as a small team of aliens, each armed with five or six paintbrushes, enthusiastically covered the ship in a coat of yellow paint. "You are sure that this will work?" Zorpxog asked. "The list of chemicals on those canisters does not overlap with any of the chemicals which comprise banana." "It'll work. I'm the one who invented the banana boat, remember?" Zorpxog turned bright red. "Yes. Sorry." -- LeBron watched the ship rise off the ground and then disappear into the sky. He remembered that his friends were still on it. He wondered what would happen to them when the aliens found out that the yellow paint didn't make their ship go any faster. He decided he didn't want to think about it anymore. -- If you enjoyed this video, please consider donating to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck
Chris Paul All 203 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation Part II)
The room's small space was illuminated by three torches which obscured no details of the horrific sight before them: two human corpses that had decayed past ...
Mitchell Robinson All 183 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
Mitchell Robinson hesitantly approached the unmarked, but sturdy looking, door. He knew that behind that door waited the owner of the New York Knicks. Every previous trip he had made to this office had ended very strangely, and he had no reason to believe that this occasion would be any different. He had half a mind to turn around, leave, and forget the whole thing. Instead, he knocked. A few seconds later, a weak voice called out "come in." It was so faint that Mitchell wasn't sure he had heard correctly. He entered the office anyway. James Dolan wasn't sitting at his desk like he usually was. Instead, he was lying on the low sofa that was against the wall. At least three, maybe four blankets were swaddling him even though summer had very noticeably arrived in New York. "Mitchell. Come take a seat," he said, pointing at the unoccupied end of the sofa. "You cold? Want me to turn down the air conditioning?" Mitchell asked. "It's no use," James rasped. "The chills won't go away." He paused to shiver uncontrollably before continuing. "I got it, Mitchell. I got the COVID." Mitchell had just sat down, but at this revelation, he jumped back up again. "Man, shouldn't you be quarantined?" "I was quarantined until you came in." Mitchell had backed up against the far wall, hoping to stay out of range of James' viral exhalations. "Why'd you want to see me, then? To get me sick too?" James coughed violently before replying, causing Mitchell to flinch. "It won't matter if you get sick," he said, a notion that Mitchell disagreed with. "Because you're the one who can cure us all." Standing there in the office of the Knicks' owner, Mitchell tried to figure out what the sick man's meaning was. Maybe James was delirious from his illness. Certainly what he had just said made little sense. In Mitchell's understanding, a cure for the coronavirus was still a long ways off, even with thousands of smart scientists working on it. As Mitchell struggled to come up with a response, James pulled out a ratty-looking laptop from underneath his blankets and pushed the power button. "You can use this," he said, holding it out for a second before the weakness of his arms caused him to lower it back onto his lap. He seemed unperturbed as he sneezed directly onto the laptop's open screen. So James wanted him to use the laptop to cure a worldwide pandemic? That was so absurd his brain couldn't even process it. "What, you want me to google COVID cures on your sneezed-on plague laptop?" "No! You don't understand. We're in the matrix right now," James said. "But the matrix is only computers. It's only ones and zeroes, Mitchell. That means we can hack it. The coronavirus - it's just data. Binary data." "I'm not so sure about that," Mitchell said, trying to gently put down James' wacko ideas without provoking a negative response. Like getting cut from the team. Or traded to the Kings. James sneezed some more. Mitchell covered his face, knowing that he was breathing in clouds of viral death-particles. "Viruses are just DNA," the Knicks' owner went on. "And DNA is data. The science is very clear on that. Atoms are data too. And data is computers." He said this emphatically as if had made an irrefutable point. Seeing no way out of this bizarre situation, Mitchell grabbed the laptop with the tips of his fingers and took it to the unused desk. He had to fight the urge to dive out of the way when James began coughing again. A question occurred to him. "If you know how to hack the universe to cure the 'rona, why don't you just do it yourself?" "I'm old and technology has passed me by. I only know the theory. You're young, Mitchell. You have to write the computer code." Mitchell recognized the operating system on the laptop. It was Windows XP. He had used it in elementary school. But he didn't know the first thing about computer programming. Then again, neither did James. So Mitchell opened up a text file, wrote "CURE CORONAVIRUS" surrounded by a bunch of random 1s and 0s, and saved it to the desktop. "Please hurry," James whimpered, withdrawing further into his blankets. "There is so much more I want to accomplish in life. JD and the Straight Shot needs to win a Grammy. The Knicks need to make the playoffs." The next part was harder, but after some Googling, Mitchell figured out how to open one of those black-and-white terminal screens that hackers always used in the movies. There he typed "CORONAVIRUS ERADICATED". "Done," he said with finality, showing James the screen which the fake confirmation message alongside the file of "computer code". "You did it! You hacked the matrix," James said, a blissful smile on his sick face. "I knew I could count on you." "Any time," Mitchell said as he made a quick exit. He was sure to get sick now. He wondered if he had grounds for a lawsuit. No, he decided. No lawyer would believe him. -- If you enjoyed this video, please consider donating to my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck
Kawhi Leonard All 198 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-2020 Season Jumperilation Part II)
Ignoring the persistent knocking at his door, Kawhi focused on assembling a robotic arm that had three independently-moving fingers at the end of it. Mechanical ...
Kawhi Leonard All 198 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-2020 Season Jumperilation Part I)
"You got permission to bring a blowtorch in here?" Lifting up his facemask, Kawhi Leonard regarded his teammate Paul George with a blank expression.
Nicolo Melli 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (2/23/2020)
Nicolo Melli and Zion Williamson are the most dynamic rookie bigman tandem that I can think of in a long time. The realities of the NBA draft are such that it's hard to get even one young stud big, much less two. You can try and game the system by drafting Euro stashes or maybe a guy who will miss a whole year so he can still be a rookie in the next one, but it's still hard. And the Pelicans have pulled it off. With aplomb. Melli and Williamson complement each other perfectly. Williamson likes to dunk and be a beast inside, overpowering people with his strength, while Melli likes to hang around the three-point line and be a soft Euro, overpowering people with his skills. Normal bigman tandems get in each other's way a lot, in a way that makes them both less effective. Not so in New Orleans. It's perfect. Absolutely a perfect fit. Whoever made the bold decision to draft Williamson and then pluck Melli from whatever Euro team he was playing with deserves a raise. In recognition of the beastitude of this rookie pairing, I have created a brand new nickname for them: "Fuoco E Ghiaccio". That means "Fire and Ice" in Italian, a nod to Melli's Italian heritage. Williamson can be the "Fuoco", and Melli can be the "Ghiaccio". Or Melli can be the "Fuoco" and Williamson can be the "Ghiaccio". It doesn't really matter which one is which. All that matters is that one of them is hot and dynamic and the other is suave and cool. Remember, if you choose to use this nickname in any of your works, or even say it out loud, it's 25 dollars per use. I didn't become an expert in the area of nicknamecraft so that uncreative losers could steal my intellectual property without compensation. All clips property of the NBA. No copyright infringement is intended. If you enjoyed this video, please consider donating to my Patreon. YouTube doesn't allow me to collect ad revenue from my videos. https://www.patreon.com/downtobuck Check out the DTB Highlights Archivium: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfwtpgn358Vq8ta_wOuB9Zg/
Highlights
Every NBA Player’s First Field Goal This Season (2021-22 Season Full-ilation Part II)
Part II of my yearly video series documenting the first shots of every NBA player is where things truly get exciting for a role-player ...
Doug McDermott Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2021)
We were robbed of a potential 40-burger from Doug McDermott due to the disgusting and blatant tanking of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Al Horford is fine, ...
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