Throwdown   

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“As seen on tour in the late 90’s and 2000’s”

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Highlights

Wife: What IS this? Me: Sunn O))) Wife: ...Just sounds like the stuff you do before you actually start playing a song. Me: Yeah this whole song is 12 min of just these 4 chords. Band is pretty experimental. Wife: ...should experiment with getting this song started sometime.

When the government sees you with a Don’t Tread On Me flag.

You got a couple pairs of socks that are cozier than the others? You see em in the drawer and you’re like “Mm tempting! But I’m saving you for Friday squishy heels.”

2y.o. Daughter: <jumping up and down holding a feather duster>

Me: Whoa did you win an Oscar for your starring role in Rain Man?

Wife: <?> ...oh my god don’—

Me: Cause you... Dust’n’ Hop,man!

Wife: <quietly logs on to LegalZoom to file for divorce>

Me:

2y.o. Daughter: Me: Whoa did you win an Oscar for your starring role in Rain Man? Wife: ...oh my god don’— Me: Cause you... Dust’n’ Hop,man! Wife: Me:

Is there some sort of legislation that demands yogurt brands have weird af names?

Due to canceled shows, chronic back pain, and my advancing age, this is the only pitter in our household:

Of all the places I’ve been, social media is the grossest.

Remember when El Pollo Loco’s jingle was a man who had just been stabbed in the chest with a sword uttering “El Pollo Loco” as his final words over a little flamenco guitar?

My 2 year old just took my phone and showed the cat a picture of herself on the screensaver and asked him if he saw it. He did, and he was super impressed.

My 2 year old just took my phone and showed the cat a picture of herself on the screensaver and asked him if he saw it. He did, and he was super impressed.


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